Hilary. Relationships

posted May 25th, 2011 by Janet Graham - Leave a Comment

I asked Hilary to tell me about the relationships in her life which she believes had the greatest impact on her and in particular her work life and career. She said: “I’ve always gotten along well with men.  I like men.  I think that I’m of an era in our business where the formative years for me were still very chauvinistic and old-fashioned.  It was a man’s world and it’s still a man’s world. I don’t know why I got along with men but they were easier to deal with. I think partly I was influenced by my father.  I’m very much like him.  I was my father’s favourite child. We saw eye to eye. I was the only one that ever argued with him.  I would say I wasn’t intimidated by men.  I like men. Their answers are short and sweet. There is less messing around or babble or whatever you want to call it.   I would say there were men that I worked with that maybe didn’t so much mentor me, they weren’t necessarily the critical people in my career, but watching men and having fun with them and at the same time being professional always appealed to me.  But then as I got less… I’m not going to say shy because I’ve never been shy… but as I grew more confident then I was able to figure out the kind of women that I do really respond to because for the most part I found women too much work.  So I had girlfriends that had nothing to do with business and if I wanted to go out and party my brains out, I had girlfriends for that but around work I really didn’t have much to do with other women. As time went by, I found women that were like me and I’m still in a few groups. I’m generally very aloof with women. I stand back and watch how it’s going to go and if there is going to be drama and all, I just take a pass.  I don’t go out and besmirch people or anything.  I just don’t want any drama. I like a simple emotional life I guess.”


“So I would say watching sales people, when I started as a junior. You  make your way up and you see how some do it; they just dug in, they didn’t do it to do a big trade and stand up and do a turkey strut, they just dug in and worked and trusted the accolades would come in and they would say thank you, I believe that’s my job.  I’ve used that line.  I learned that line from those people and it really agrees with me.  I’m not the strong silent type because I’m not quiet but I like that strength. It appealed to me.”


“Now I have relationships but I could have a lot more friends than I have.  I like being alone, I like being with my partner, and I don’t really necessarily need to surround myself with people all the time.  I love going out and being social but not too much.  I love quiet. I’m fine on my own.  I have no need to surround myself with people and I also think that growing up in a three-bedroom home with six kids and a dog and a lot of stuff going on was full on involvement.  It doesn’t surprise me that I have these great, great friendships and relationships, sometimes with clients, some of whom are great friends but I don’t really… I’m just not someone that has to have more people in my life.”


What Strikes Me?

It’s still a man’s world


Men are easier to get along with; there’s no drama


There is a lot to be said for quiet strength


You can learn a lot by simply watching people you admire doing their jobs


What Strikes You?


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