Moya. Relationships

posted November 8th, 2010 by Janet Graham - Leave a Comment

I asked Moya to tell me about the relationships in her life which she believes have had the greatest impact on her and in particular her work life and career.

 

Moya says she is a person with very long-standing friendships.  “I have some friends that have been my friends for 35 years.  I have a friend that has been my friend since I was 14.   She’s a brilliant journalist and communications expert but she’s been my friend for years and years and there’s not three months goes by that we don’t see each other no matter where we are.  So I am a person with very, very long-standing friendships and as you get older, of course, it gets harder to make those friendships because the better portion of your life is over and you’re picking up the new friendship at a time when what remains to you may be starting to get shorter.” 

 

Moya says: “Every life has its ups and downs and I have been very driven in my career.  I have loved what I’ve done in the work world and I have been blessed with one gorgeous daughter. I’ve had a marriage that was a very important part of my life for 12 years and certainly gave me the biggest blessing in my whole life which was my daughter. However, in terms of the pivotal relationships in my life, I would say those with my friends and mostly my women friends but not exclusively my women friends. I have had some great friends and they are still my friends today, the one since I was 14, another since I went to law school and another for more than 30 years and there’s not a month goes by that we don’t speak.  These are long-standing friends and these friends are really important to me.  Women friends support you in ways that no husband can I’ll tell you that, perhaps because they just understand deeper in the cellular make-up of their being what you’re feeling or what you’re going through.” 

 

Moya says she had a boss in the federal government who she believes is one of the most accomplished women in the country. She says she works at the international level now and has been doing so for a very long time.  This woman was her boss and is now her friend.  She says: “It is a gift to have people like that in your life and she’s now been in my life for over 20 years.  Friends and those relationships, those female relationships in particular, but not exclusively have been important to me.  I’ve had some mentors that now are friends.” She recalled another man she described as a great mentor and friend of hers. She described him as a brilliant guy.  “Another one of those guys that probably wrote his PhD thesis on three pages, you know a math genius, one of those guys.  They get very easy PhD’s in one sense and very unique in another.  I think of my sister when she got her PhD what a crucifixion it was. It was the 700 page book.” In terms of relationships, Moya reiterated many times the critical nature of her friendships and particularly her female friendships.

 

She said: “It’s taken me a long time to get around to saying this but my ex-husband was very important to me.  We met at law school and we married young and he always wanted me to have a career.  He always saw that in me and in fact we spent a lot of our married life apart because I was pursuing one career direction and he was going in another direction and it probably was the beginning of the end of our relationship.  I don’t think those types of relationships can work looking back on it many, many years later. However, you get over the hump and we’re able to speak again about many issues. However, at that point in my life when I was in law school, he was a very important person in my life.”

 

Moya says: “My parents, for sure, are still in my camp and you know surprising people have been in my camp.  I met people when I was in the financial sector that I just trust.”  She named a former high ranking federal civil servant and CEO of a company where she worked and said he had always been in her camp.  She says she would not presume to call him a personal friend but said he is a very trusted advisor.  “He would never steer me wrong and he is someone who will make time to give me advice which I cherish because he’s very experienced.  I mean, he’s very experienced at all levels.  He’s very experienced as a business person and very experienced in terms of policy in the political arena, so he has a wide range of advice to provide.”

 

Moya thought about it a little more to be certain she had covered all of the important relationships in her life. She said:  “The female friends for sure and they are very long-standing relationships and the mentors and partners that I have had professionally that were always in my camp and can help me sort out my thinking and my parents, these are the relationships which have been most important to me.  To this day, my parents are very important to me. They are very much on their game.  If I say I’m thinking about this and this, my mother will say, now why, why would you think that?  Seriously.”

 

What Strikes Me?

 

It only takes the support of one person to have a significant impact on your career and your life.

 

Women friends support you in ways that no husband can

 

Women understand each other at a deeper level, in the cellular make-up of their being what you’re feeling or what you’re going through.

 

What Strikes You?

 

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